When we are young, we are told to dream big.
We are told we can be anything we want to be. But more often than not, life happens and we get caught up in following the conventional path society tells us we should be on, and we get lost in that path. And when we are lost, we look to others for answers.
We are told we aren’t smart enough or maybe our parents push us into the conventional path because that is all they know, and they are helping in the only way they know how. We follow because it’s a direction and instead of being stuck in “I don’t know”, it’s a path to follow while we figure it out.
For a lot of people this is the endless cycle they get caught in. They call it life.
Well, I don’t call that living.
I want you to go back to your young, dreamer mentality and believe that you can achieve anything you want!
No fear. No reservations. No excuses.
Anything is available to you. Set impossible goals and go after them! You have what it takes and the know how, already inside you, whether you realize it or not.
The unknown is scary and hard, but that’s what makes it so great! This is how I came to be a life coach actually.
A life coach helps you find your own answers, instead of answering them for you. They help to bring awareness to points or ideas you might be missing, but ultimately, you have the answer.
This is so powerful. We have the answers, but we just don’t know how to find those answers deep within us. It’s easier to stay in a state of ‘I don’t know’, rather than dig down deep.
This brings me to my point today.
I have the tool that will help you achieve your impossible goal, and help you to look within for the wisdom you already have inside of you. I have used this tool personally to achieve my goals and I continue to use it.
This amazing tool is called 7 Clarifying Questions For Goal Success.
Here’s how to use it…
7 Clarifying Questions For Goal Success
The first part (before you ask the questions) is to choose the RESULT you want (this is your big, impossible goal or any goal that you want a new result for).
Then ask yourself everything you want to know (i.e.: the 7 questions listed below).
Here are the 7 clarifying questions to ask once you’ve set your impossible goal…
1. Why do you want this RESULT?
This is your goal. The thing you’re working on right now.
Here’s a list of my favorite blog posts and podcast episodes for goal setting…
- Impossible Goals (podcast)
- The Magic Of Setting Impossible Goals (blog post)
- How To Set Goals (podcast)
- How To Achieve Goals (blog post)
- Visualizing Your Future Self (podcast)
- 11 Ways To Get Motivated To Achieve Your Goals (blog post)
- Goal Fuel (podcast)
- 9 Tools To Up-Level Your Life Today (free training)
2. Where will you find this RESULT?
Depending on the result, there might not be a location, but other times there will be.
3. When will you find this RESULT?
Do you need to be in a rush?
This is important to really think about because a lot of times we are in a hurry and we want to achieve our goals. This is coming from a place of wanting, rather than from a place of receiving mindset and already having. This is so powerful to bring awareness to this fact.
4. What is the person who has this RESULT thinking?
This is putting you in the mindset of the person you want to be and has the result you want already, which is what you need to be thinking in order to be aligned in getting that result. This is how you create it. You’ve heard me talk about creating your future from your future right? All about mindset
5. What is the person who has this RESULT feeling (one word)?
You can name a few feelings, but make sure each feeling is only one word.
Do you need to worry about getting this RESULT?
Do you need to be afraid about getting this RESULT?
If you really think about these questions, using your prefrontal cortex, rather than your primitive emotional brain, the answer will usually be “no”. And that is what this is ultimately all about. These questions allow you to consciously use your prefrontal cortex and talk to yourself and get rational answers and the truth.
6. What is the person who has this RESULT doing (actions)?
How will you create this RESULT?
What obstacles will be in your way? And how can you solve each obstacle?
What can you do this week to move you closer toward achieving your RESULT?
This question is so good! You’ll be amazed at the number of useful actions you come up with using this question, that you already knew, and help to get you out of that confusion, and “I don’t know” state of mind.
And keep in mind, it doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong, what matters is that you are coming up with a few possible ways to move forward. Because even if you’re wrong, you learn from that action and try another option you came up with, but you are continually moving forward. You won’t be making your failures or obstacles mean something, and you won’t quit because you have another avenue to try.
7. What will be different about your life when you achieve this RESULT?
What will be the same?
This question is so incredibly helpful because it helps you to slow down when you are in a rush to achieve your goal. Ultimately, you will be the same person. You will still have negative emotions and your brain will still have that primitive side. Nothing about your goal will change your emotions. You don’t want to be this person where everything is all happy and you are never disappointed. It doesn’t exist.
Now you have the questions, but you are still unsure how it can work for you.
Let’s talk about why it works and why you should use this tool to achieve your impossible goal.
Why This Works And You Should Do It
This tool works because it eliminates confusion and “I don’t know”.
Side note-Here are a couple podcasts for you to check out when you’re feeling stuck.
We LIVE in “I don’t know.” Our brains love it. It’s much safer to be confused. You don’t have to decide and do something new if you’re confused. It feels responsible.
It’s natural for your brain to try and point out all the negative aspects and reasons why this won’t work. That’s your brain’s survival mode kicking in.
Be aware and consciously focus on solving the problems you think you are going to have, rather than simply asking what the problems are going to be.
Another thing to keep in mind about these questions that you will need to continue asking these questions repeatedly. Then answer them again, and again. (Check out this podcast on Asking Your Mind Questions.)
This is not a one and done, type of tool.
Whether that is every quarter or every month, but at least every year, you need to repeat this exercise. This is because new information comes along and you learn more, and maybe things work, or they don’t work. So, it’s important to know that these questions work best when used often for the same goal.
You have all the answers within you.
This is why life coaching is so amazing and why everyone needs a life coach. If you have a life coach or you’re in Grow You, you know the coach shows you your own wisdom. I show my clients how to find their own answers in ways they’re blocking and completely unaware of.
These Clarifying Questions allow you to bring awareness to the wisdom you have within you. You’ll be so much more likely to succeed if you do this exercise repeatedly as you work through your goals.
Just remember to apply this to whatever your impossible goal is, whether its losing weight, quitting drinking, meeting the man of your dreams, paying off all your debt, getting your dream job, whatever it is.
Whatever your impossible goal is, decide to want it. Decide that you can have it. And when your brain starts to freak out, use these clarifying questions to bring out your inner wisdom and to calm your primitive brain down.
Let’s go through what this actually looks like in some examples, starting with my own experience…
My Experience With My Online Business
I use these clarifying questions in my business, and they’re helping me stay on track with my personal goal to create $1M in revenue in one year.
Here’s a look…
Impossible Goal: Make 7 figures in one year from my online business.
1. Why do you want RESULT?
Because I want to help end as much unnecessary suffering of as many women as possible.
Because I want to inspire women to make as much money as they can.
Because I want to be an amazing example of creating money and creating a business and life on my own terms.
Because I want women to know that their lives don’t have to be this hard.
Because growing my business is fun. Now, this reason may sound trivial, but if you can get to a place of just wanting it because you just want it, it can actually be very compelling.
2. Where will I find this RESULT?
On the internet.
With my clients and students.
In my coaching, in selling self-paced programs, and in live events.
And so these are the three legs of my business right? I have membership coaching, Grow You, I sell self-paced courses where you just pay for one time, and I also have live events. That’s my ‘where’.
You can check out my shop if you’re interested in learning more about any of the above programs!
3. When will you find RESULT?
The first thing that came to my mind was, in 2 years. I have this idea that this year, I’ll make $405k (1.5x my income again). Next year, I’ll make $1M.
Notice that I’m answering this based on what I think. It’s okay if it ends up not being true. I’m not going to go beat myself up and tell myself I was wrong.
It will just be interesting to see if it actually happens in two years, or three years, or even one! Its okay to be wrong, but you need be courageous enough to actually put your thoughts on paper about when you think you will get this result.
Do you need to be in a rush?
Definitely not.
Something that I’ve noticed about myself in my business in the last year, is that I’ve slowed way down.
I don’t really work more than 40 hours a week, but I’m really committed and connected with my team, and I’m all in, but I’m not over-working.
It took me a while to get to this place. This was not the case when I was working full time and building my business, I was more rushed. I definitely don’t need to be in a rush to get to 7 figures.
4. When will you find RESULT?
This is really fun for me because I noticed some of these thoughts I have and some I don’t, which makes sense because I don’t have this result yet.
I know how to make $1M in revenue.
I’m the CEO of a small company.
I can do really hard things.
Business is fun.
Making money is easy.
I love my clients and students.
I manage a small team.
Make sure when you do this exercise you get your mind into a place where you are thinking you already have the result. Not that you want it, but that you actually already have it.
I used to do this with money and what it would be like to be out of debt and not making payments. And I realized that the person who is debt free isn’t thinking about that, they are thinking about how much to save and where to put their money, how to create more money and invest more. Debt isn’t even something they are thinking about. And this is usually the case.
So just notice this about yourself. And really do this exercise from the place of already having the result.
5. What is the person who has this RESULT feeling (one word)?
And remember to use one word feelings.
So for me when I think about having a 7 figure business and making the 83k per month in revenue, the feelings that come up for me when I think about the person that has that result are..
Steady.
Committed.
Focused.
Powerful.
Serious.
Professional.
Loving.
It’s funny, I think that commitment and love are underrated and I think that if you can make them present in whatever you are doing in your life, life is just better. So for me, at 7 figures, I think I’ll love my business even more, I’ll love my clients even more, I’ll love my team even more and I’ll just operate from a place of love in even higher capacity than I already do.
Do you need to worry about this RESULT?
No. Definitely not.
Again, this is about the mindset. I feel like it’s already here. I don’t need to worry about it happening because I know it’s as good as done.
Do you need to be afraid about this RESULT?
No. Definitely not.
It’s not even a question to me that this is happening.
Notice that I said “this is happening”. Notice the tense that you speak in about your goal. You’ll speak differently about things you know how to do and that you have done, so you have to catch yourself when talking about the future and your impossible goal.
6. What is the person who has this RESULT doing (actions)?
She works three days per week in her business.
She has a team of 5 people, 3 full time.
She reads a lot and is obsessed with her customers and clients.
She is working from her own office.
She creates revenue easily.
How will you create this RESULT?
This was really fun! I rattled off exactly how to do it, instead of my brain freaking out. I flipped it around and I knew how.
1.7k members into Grow You and launching course program sales.
FB ads to get the right clients and customers into my funnels.
Email list of 50k-100k.
Reporting stats weekly to measure what’s working and what’s not.
I’ll have more Webinars. Free trainings. Lots of them.
I’ll be focusing on my zone of genius: content creation and sales and marketing. Hiring out the rest.
What obstacles will be in your way?
Set aside a budget for FB ad spend.
Schedule time to work on FB myself every single day (to learn the program in and out before outsourcing).
Schedule time to plan and evaluate freebies and funnels that are and aren’t working (to optimize growth).
Send videos weekly to Grow You members to increase connection.
What can you do this week to move you closer toward achieving RESULT?
7. What will be different about your life when you achieve this RESULT?
These are the things that will be different in my life when I reach 7 figures…
This is where I want you think about any changes you’ll make. Remember you have to be positioned properly to attract the right person that you will become. So what will you, as the person that achieves your impossible goal, do that is perhaps different than what you do now?
I’ll have a personal trainer. I’ll have a bigger home, with an office specifically for working. I’ll have a personal assistant in Chicago. I’ll have a lot more money. I’ll work less. I’ll create at a higher level. I’ll have more responsibilities as CEO, including managing a team, I’ll have weekly meetings with my team, I’ll read more and think more, I’ll grow at a faster rate, I’ll travel more.
Go to every area of your life and start making decisions from those areas.
You can start to practice some of these, you don’t have to wait. If the person that has the result gets ready everyday single day, then just start getting ready every day.
Related: How To Get Massive Results podcast and blog post.
This is what lead to me getting a puppy and why I quit drinking. My future self had a puppy and didn’t drink. And I thought, well I can do that now, and so that’s what I do!
More on Why I Quit Drinking here.
By bringing awareness to what you want to create and how you can create it, and how your life will be different or similar, when you get the result, you will actually go about creating the result instead of trying to do things incrementally. You’ll be all in because you already know what’s coming.
What will be the same?
I’ll still have problems, I’ll still have negative emotions, I’ll still have the present moment, I’ll be the same weight, I’ll eat the same types of foods, I’ll still wear neutrals, I’ll have the same friends, I’ll have the same boyfriend, I’ll still live in Chicago.
Identifying what will be the same will be really helpful for you so that you get out of this fantasy thinking that isn’t useful.
You can achieve your impossible goal, but you will always have problems and your life won’t be one fantasy party.
Even the multi-millionaires have problems, the people with perfect marriages still have problems and negative emotions. They may be using their money to seek external things to seek false pleasures, but then they need to seek more of it to be happy.
So what I teach is to find that internal happiness and well being so you learn how to process the negative emotions and you set goals because its fun and you want a different experience of life, not because you think that the grass is greener on the other side and not have any problems.
That was my example, but it can be used for any goal you have.
We can take a look a some more examples and you can see how it can be applied, regardless of your goal.
More Examples
Here are more examples that aren’t mine but that you can see and use to inspire you to do this exercise.
I chose (and made up) examples from the health, relationships, and work/money categories.
These questions work for everything.
Here’s a look…
Example: Health
Impossible Goal: Quit Drinking
1. Why do you want RESULT?
I’m tired of hangovers.
I want to live a life without intentionally damaging my brain and body.
I want to be a good example to my kids.
When I think of my highest self, she’s a non-drinker.
2. Where will you find this RESULT?
No location for this goal. Instead, it’s when I’m aligned and ready.
3. When will you find this RESULT?
When I decide to commit and go all in (and complete the drinking chapter of my life).
Do you need to be in a rush?
Nope!
4. What is the person who has this RESULT thinking?
She’s not thinking about alcohol at all.
She’s thinking about other things like her relationships, her job, and other ways to enjoy her life.
She doesn’t think about not drinking. Alcohol isn’t even relevant to her.
5. What is the person who has this RESULT feeling (one word)?
Steady.
Aligned.
Committed.
Love.
Do you need to worry about this RESULT?
No.
Do you need to be afraid about this RESULT?
Nope.
6. What is the person who has this RESULT doing (actions)?
She is living her life without alcohol.
She attends social events she enjoys without needing the escape of booze.
How will you create this RESULT?
Start by becoming a Conscious Drinker, where I plan my drinks at least 24 hours ahead of time.
Then, after that, take a break from alcohol.
After taking a break, commit to not drinking anymore ever.
What obstacles will be in your way?
The social events I’m used to drinking alcohol at.
Friends pressuring.
Loved ones not understanding.
Feeling separate from the “group” when people don’t get it.
The urges I’ll have to drink when I’m in a situation where I used to have alcohol.
How can you solve each obstacle?
Make a list of social events I drink at and create a plan for whether and to what extent I’ll drink.
Come up with what I want to think, feel, and say to friends and family.
Practice experiencing negative emotion, so I don’t avoid, resist, or react to it when it comes.
Practice allowing urges instead of resisting them.
What can you do this week to move you closer toward achieving this RESULT?
Set up a drinking plan and follow it.
7. What will be different about your life when you achieve this RESULT?
I won’t have hangovers.
I’ll have weekend mornings back.
I’ll experience more negative emotion because I won’t escape it with alcohol.
I’ll have a new experience of social events I used to drink at.
I won’t go to as many alcohol based events, like wine tastings.
Some relationships that were solely based on having drinks will likely change.
I’ll see what comes up for me about my life without using alcohol to escape it.
What will be the same?
I’ll live in the same place.
I’ll eat the same food.
I’ll wear the same clothes.
I’ll be married to the same person.
I’ll have the same job.
I’ll make the same money.
Example: Relationships
Impossible Goal: Get Married
1.Why do you want this RESULT?
I want to share my life with someone.
I want to be in love.
I want to have kids.
2. Where will you find this RESULT?
No location, it’s when I’m ready.
3. When will you find this RESULT?
In 3 years.
Do you need to be in a rush?
No.
4. What is the person who has this RESULT thinking?
She’s not thinking about getting married.
She’s not thinking about finding the right person.
She’s thinking into the future and planning things with her husband.
She’s thinking about kids with her husband.
5. What is the person who has this RESULT feeling (one word)?
Committed.
Love.
Secure.
Happy.
Do you need to worry about this RESULT?
No.
Do you need to be afraid about this RESULT?
Nope!
6. What is the person who has this RESULT doing (actions)?
She’s living her life with her husband.
She’s focused on her career.
She’s focused on her kids.
How will you create this RESULT?
Be open to dating the kind of people that have the same values.
Find a man I love be around and can see myself with.
Have open communication about long term goals and commitment.
Get engaged.
What obstacles will be in your way?
Finding the right person to share my life with/same values.
Finding out if he is ready to get married also.
How can you solve each obstacle?
Make sure I am hanging out with people that align with my values.
Have open communication with significant other about their future goals.
What can you do this week to move you closer toward achieving this RESULT?
Go on a date with an open mind.
7. What will be different about your life when you achieve this RESULT?
I won’t go on dates with different people all the time.
I’ll have new experiences and friends, that are friends of my husband.
I’ll have to consider someone else in all my choices and plans.
The types of social event I attend may change as I won’t be single anymore.
I’ll live somewhere new (apartment/house) with my husband.
What will be the same?
I’ll have the same job.
I’ll make the same money.
I’ll dress the same.
I’ll eat the same foods.
Example: Money
Impossible Goal: Double income and work less.
1.Why do you want this RESULT?
I want more freedom in my life.
I want to spend more time with my family.
I want to travel more.
2. Where will you find this RESULT?
On the internet.
In expanding my offerings as a Virtual Assistant.
In new clients.
3. When will you find this RESULT?
In 4 years.
Do you need to be in a rush?
No, just needs to be done correctly.
4. What is the person who has this RESULT thinking?
Making money is easy.
My life is balanced.
She’s thinking about ways to enjoy her life.
She’s not thinking about her bills.
5. What is the person who has this RESULT feeling (one word)?
Focused.
Committed.
Love.
Freedom.
Professional.
Do you need to worry about this RESULT?
No.
Do you need to be afraid about this RESULT?
Definitely Not.
6. What is the person who has this RESULT doing (actions)?
She is spending more time with her kids.
She is spending some time giving back and volunteering.
She is traveling with her family.
She is working 3 days a week.
She is always learning new skills to better help her clients.
How will you create this RESULT?
Continue working as a Virtual Assistant for one client and expand my knowledge.
Take on new clients.
Take courses in VA skills.
Research skills needed in future for VAs.
Expand my graphic offerings to clients.
Build templates for graphics content.
Quit full-time job.
What obstacles will be in your way?
Building client base.
Balancing time to learn new skills alongside full-time job and family.
Figuring out what offerings offer the most value to clients.
How can you solve each obstacle?
Referrals from past clients.
Building a website with offerings.
Setting aside time to research VA skills and offerings needed in the future.
What can you do this week to move you closer toward achieving this RESULT?
Learn one new skill for client.
7. What will be different about your life when you achieve this RESULT?
I won’t have to commute and travel to work every day.
I won’t have to punch the clock Monday-Friday.
I can work from anywhere.
I’ll work less.
I’ll have more money.
I’ll have my debt paid off.
What will be the same?
I’ll still be working.
I’ll still have problems.
I’ll still have my family and friends.
I’ll still live in the same house.
A Final Note!
Now it’s your turn.
Answer these questions to help you bring awareness to how you’re going to accomplish your goal.
Here are the 7 clarifying questions again…
1. Why do you want this RESULT?
2. Where will you find this RESULT?
3. When will you find this RESULT?
> Do you need to be in a rush?
4. What is the person who has this RESULT thinking?
5. What is the person who has this RESULT feeling (one word)?
> Do you need to worry about RESULT?
> Do you need to be afraid about RESULT?
6. What is the person who has this RESULT doing (actions)?
> How will you create this RESULT?
> What obstacles will be in your way?
> How can you solve each obstacle?
> What can you do this week to move you closer toward achieving this RESULT?
7. What will be different about your life when you achieve this RESULT?
> What will be the same?
Do this exercise and actually write it down. It’s so powerful.
I’m telling you, you will bring awareness to yourself and to the inner wisdom you have, and move forward in achieving your impossible goal!
Up Next, watch the YouTube video…
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